Change.Posted: June 24, 2011
Change… requiring of us movement in a direction that we are not as familiar, calling upon skills we are not accustomed to using, and forcing us to stretch beyond our well established and often too small, comfort zones….can be hard. Sometimes we do anything we possibly can to avoid it, even when it is what is best for us and everyone around us. It can rock our foundation, threaten the equilibrium, and wreak havoc. But, it can also rock the foundation and then give the ingredients necessary for a stronger foundation. It can threaten the equilibrium that has been maintained for so long, but isn’t necessarily the healthiest. It can wreak havoc as it encourages us to continue on the path of awareness and growth. It’s crazy that we as humans would much rather cling to something toxic than step into the unknown, even though we cognitively know it holds a promise of something better. It’s not familiar. And we don’t know. Another way to say that perhaps, is that we’re desperately afraid OF the unknown, the change, so we cling to something, even if it’s toxic.
I’m working to be friends with the change that is flamboyantly present in my life. And at times it feels incredibly clumsy and extremely terrifying. I’m learning. Stretching, growing. But I can’t forget my I, is a we. The my I just referenced is actually an our. That’s just another part of the self-discovery piece…we do not have to travel it in solitude. No one has to navigate these things on your own. If you are single, lean on your closest friends and family. If you don’t use them, you’ll feel alone. And then possibly feel incredibly distant from them, for they have no idea. And then feel even more alone and even more hopeless about your ability to go through this with any semblance of grace. If you are married, use your partner! Don’t leave them behind. It’s their job to be with you, just as it is your job to with them. Don’t ever forget that.
Picture a team of horses, pulling a wagon. We’ve probably all caught a glimpse of this in real life, some of us an even more personal, up close experience. Imagine all those ropes, each one with a purpose, each being vital to the operation of the entire setup. Once fully assembled, the driver now has a clear line of communication open with both of the horses. Imagine what would happen if the horse on the left decided he wanted to do it this way. And the horse on the right disagreed. What would happen? Catastrophe. And face it, there’s nothing the driver can do to force two +1500 pound animals to do what he wants them to do if they don’t want to do it. He’s powerless, along for the ride. Life doesn’t have to be that dangerous. Look to your partner. Talk about transitions. Embrace the changes.
I’m working to be present with mine. To seek agreement between my head and my heart, between my human longings and my faith in God that my needs will be taken care of. I’m working to do it with grace and strength. I’m not always successful, I don’t always do as I should, I forget to practice what I preach. But I come back to my center. I want to embrace the changes, the gift of growth and forward movement. I’m so thankful for my husband, my rock, my partner. For my family and friends. And for my church.