It’s ok to be sad.Posted: February 2, 2011
My husband is away…in Guatemala with a group from church. It’s an immersion experience, learning about the culture, helping with practical needs, ministering. While he’s away, I feel soooooo cared for. It’s an amazing blessing to be a part of a church that reaches out so well. I expect it’s not happening just because I’m married to the pastor, I would expect this care to be extended to anyone our church knows is in need. They all just happened to know Justin’s away, because he’s kind of in the spotlight, obviously. My kids are taken care of while I work after school and into evenings, I have help plowing my drive, people ask if I need anything in town. It’s humbling. Sometimes I sit back and think, “weird, it’s just me!!! Just me…me. I can’t do it all by myself (sometimes I try), and when I can’t, I graciously open my arms to accept the gift of help. Thank you to all.
So anyway, while my husband is away, I was going to travel with the kids to Luther Seminary to accept an award, given to him. See this link: http://www.luthersem.edu/convo/fim.aspx#grimm I’m so proud of him! It’s awesome to watch someone you’re so in love with excel and use fully the gifts that God has given. I’m blessed, and honored, to be walking with him. I was looking forward to the trip, the ceremony on the 3rd, and also to be with my family. I don’t remember the last time we flew “back home.” Before flying got expensive that’s for sure, that was awhile ago. The ONLY thing I don’t like about MI is being so far from them. Logan will often say, “I wish Grandmas and Grandpas lived across the street…why can’t they live close like [so and so]?” “Wouldn’t that be fun,” I respond. “I would love that, but I also love MI, and I love that we can have awesome adventures to travel and visit…and when we are with them, it is sooooooo wonderful, we never grow tired of it because it doesn’t happen all the time!” (not to suggest that if we were close we would grow tired, but you know what I mean). “Yeah,” he says. He agrees. We are blessed to live here, blessed by the people here that we have come to see as family, blessed by the many opportunities for growth, for all of us. We’re meant to be here.
So you can imagine how excited we were to be gifted a flight to MN!! Helps the time that Justin is gone go by faster, get to see grandmas and grandpas, aunts and uncles we don’t see often, maybe new members we haven’t met yet, and my grandma. But, as plans don’t always go the way we want them, and living in Northern Michigan and the upper midwest in general, weather doesn’t always cooperate with “my plans.” Blizzard…seriously? Now?!? Come on!!!! I tried, stayed up way too late trying to rectify, got a new flight, packed……cancelled. You just can’t fight the weather, there comes a time when you must hunker down and just accept where you are at. I was disappointed, some resignation. When Logan learned this morning, he sobbed. Like crying almost to the point of barfing (heaven help me if my kids barf when I”m home alone!!), and aaaaaaangry. So, I did what any mom would do, and just picked his heavy little self up, practically as tall as me too, and just went to my bed and let him rip. Cried, hit the bed, “it’s not fair, stupid snow,” etc. “I know,” was all I could say, “I hear you, me too.” He did eventually calm down, found a place of peace, nestled in with his sister who had joined us by this time, and we found a good movie, at 6:30 am. He said to me, “I’m calmer now mom,” and I could just tell that he felt better, he got all the frustration out. No one was hurt, he wasn’t vile, he was just heart broken. Sad. “I’m so glad Logan, I’m sad too…BUT–we’re safe, we’re home and not in a strange airport somewhere…and we get to see daddy sooner.” “Yeah,” he said. And he hasn’t wavered since. Payton just follows everyone else, if we’re good, she’s good.
So I thought about sadness, and the need to express, and the need to be validated. I’ve talked about this several times this week, already, with my clients. People I meet that have lived a life of being afraid of expressing their hurt, or anger, or fear. So now that they’re all grown up, they still experience those emotions, but don’t have a clue how to care for them. Sometimes we just need permission to cry, let it out, and feel someone’s arms around us. It’ll be okay. We all get sad sometimes, but we’re drawn, invited, feel compelled to travel toward, peace and happiness. I think at least. So go for it, find someone to express yourself to, someone you feel safe with, who is strong enough to comfort you and give you what you need. You’ll feel better. Logan sure did.