My daughter rocks.Posted: January 4, 2011
My daughter rocks! My son does too, but this blog was inspired by her, so here goes my tribute to my little diva. She rode the bus this morning, for the first time. That probably doesn’t sound like a big deal to most, but it is in our family. She’s in preschool this year, and has, until now, been very firm that she “never wants to ride the bus.” She has also said she “never wants to get married…if I do mom, I want to live with you and daddy.” Mom–“and your husband?” Paytie–“yes. And I never want to drive.” Aie…my girl of many opinions! We’ll see how that one evolves throughout the years! The bus one has. Yesterday after she and I saw Logan get on the bus, she told me “I’m riding the bus tomorrow mommy.” And she never looked back…
So here’s how I look into this…we’ve asked her a few times throughout the school year, and so has her brother, and older girlfriend. Her response has always been NO. Almost like, “leave me alone, I’ll do it when I’m ready.” Every time she’s with her brother at the bus stop, I can almost see her analyzing the situation. Watching him get on, and then get off. Also watching him get a candy cane on Christmas, and a different treat on Halloween, from the bus driver. That one there was a big incentive:) But all this time, while we’ve wondered if she’ll ever let go…and all this time of letting her decide when she’s ready…she’s been processing it, working on it, preparing herself. And finally, she was ready. She was like this as a baby too. Logan walked at 9.5 months. Payton at 15 months. I kept thinking, “girl, get on those feet!” But in her mind, most likely, assumption of course, was “I’ll do it when I’m ready mom. I have no need right now, so just chill out.” And it literally was, one day she was crawling, and the next, a walker.
I’m proud of her. The report from my friend at school was, “she’s here! She was walking down the hall with a BIG smile on her face.” Pride. I can do it. This rocks being independent. Having gone from the spot of needing me to come into her room, and appreciating it if I would then wave to her when I got outside, while she waited at her window…to not even looking at me as she climbed the gigantic bus steps, with her heavy backpack on her back. She’s doing it. Growing up. And this morning, I finally felt that lump I hear other parents talking about, when they see their babies get on the bus, and head off the school. Wow. There’s a part of me that wants to hold on, but a bigger part that is swelling with pride that my babies have the confidence to happily jump on the bus, knowing with all their heart their parents will be there when they come home. When I question how bad I’m screwing up as a parent, I come back to this. My kids know who they are, and there ain’t no one who will tell them otherwise. At their core, they care for each other deeply (even though I wonder sometimes!). And they are amazing little people. I’m so excited, and proud, humbled, blessed…to be with them on this journey. Way to go Paytie:)