Voice your opinion.Posted: October 21, 2010
The other day I accidentally stumbled upon an individual in my office building’s allergy . She was blowing a fan, and I thanked her for helping to keep our offices more sound proof. The reason she was blowing it wasn’t for noise, it was for perfume, and cologne…of which I was wearing. She’s allergic, but hasn’t told anyone. She “doesn’t want to be a bother.” ‘Why not?” I asked her. She said, “I just…CAN’T! I’m a non-confrontational person.” To which I promptly replied, “yes you can, you just won’t, or don’t know how.” Why suffer in silence? Why not voice? I told her I don’t mind omitting my perfume at work. No big deal. Probably better for my body anyway! Toxic stuff…:) Thank you mom and dad for hammering into me to use my voice. A skill that not enough can rely upon. If you have an opinion, voice it. But do it in a way that is respectful, not mousy, not aggressive, but assertive. Then today, someone in my jail group said he told another treatment provider that their voice “was annoying.” He told me he was having a hard time hearing the message because of the delivery. The person sharing office space with me, passive. The guy in jail, agressive, and just plain rude. I’m sure the person he told didn’t really hear him, and they never learned the way in which they send their message could be tweaked for easier listening. Don’t you want to know if there’s something about the way you communicate that sends a weird vibe? I do. I’m not consumed by what people think, but I take to heart…change what I agree with, ignore what I disagree with. I don’t think I’m wishy washy because I do that, I think it’s being aware…feeling free to grow. I wish more people could speak their mind. You all have an opinion that you have a right to share. You have a better chance of the other person hearing it if you come across, 1) confidently, 2) respectfully, and 3) open to discussion. You don’t always get what you want, but you will likely always be heard, and I think that’s more important anyway.